But I love him! (It's HARAM Sister)

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Boyfriend? * Girlfriend?
love haram01

ISLAM NEWSROOM: June 11, 2024

Advice for our sisters & brothers on Facebook


Advice for the One Who Said:

"OK So, it's Haram! But, I love him!!"

Relationships (boyfriend/girlfriend) are not permitted without marriage in Islam. Many reasons for this include:

1. Full rights of marriage, fidelity, stable home, security, legitimate children & proper family life

2. Give any children born full legitimate family rights, stable home, dual parental care & upbringing, full inheritance

3. Grand parents rights to their legitimate grandchildren, enjoy their families

4. Protect the sanctity of legitimate relationship and bond between spouses, security of intimacy and faithfulness

5. Family involvement to build lasting, secure and ongoing relationship for the entire family on both sides

But most important - it is a COMMANDMENT FROM GOD

This is not a new Commandment. It was given to the people all the way back to ancient prophets, peace be upon them all.

The Jews and Christians still have it in several places in their Bible.

Certainly Muslims are aware of the Commandments of Allah in the Quran (read Surah An-Nur, chapter 24, inshallah):

Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous!

love haram02But still, we have sisters telling us, "But I love him!"


She says, "But still, you don't know how I feel, and Allah knows my heart. I just love him so much and he loves me too".


OK - Here are some facts, dear sister - so listen and listen good.

You think he "loves you"? No. He doesn't love you!

Sister, no matter how much you think he loves you here in this world - he'll hate you a million times more on Judgment Day!

He will hate you more than anyone else on the Day of Judgment!

He will blame you for the relationship and he will ask Allah to throw you into

Hell-Fire, instead of him.

You think you "love him"? No. You don't!

You don't love him. You lust (desire) him and want to influence his life and use him for your own desire.

Do you love his "sweet words"? Sister, those "sweet words" are the whispers of the devil himself.

Or maybe you "love the way other girls will be jealous of you"?

Maybe you think he is a "real man" or because he seems "popular"? A real man doesn't take advantage of a girl, ruining her reputation in the community and then moving on to the next "special girl" to "love him".

Or he is "kind to you"?

How kind is it to throw someone's life away? And then let them go to Hell?A good Muslim girl only loves the man she will accept to marry because of his commitment to Allah. The more he tries to serve Allah and care for his family as a good Muslim man should, then the more a good Muslim girl will love her husband. That is a simple fact.

Does he want to marry you? Really? So why doesn't he talk to your father or wali, instead of talking to his buddies about how he's got this Muslim girlfriend?

What about all those "Promises"? The more he promises, the more disappointed you are going to be later. THAT IS A PROMISE!

REAL LOVE TEST - Try this "True Love Test" on him:
1. Does he care more about you or Allah? Think about that. If he loves you more than Allah, the Creator of the universe, the One giving us life, then where do you think you will fit in his life later on?

2. Does he want good for you in this life? - Halal, faithful marriage? Maintain your virginity? Uphold your reputation? Care for your family & parents?

3. Does he truly love you as his Muslim sister? - Would he let his sister have a "boyfriend"? If he would, then he doesn't care much about his sister, or Islam for that matter. If he would not allow his sister to have a boyfriend, then what does that say about his true feelings toward you?

4. Does he want good for you in the Next Life? - What happens to people who have relationships outside of marriage? Is there punishment for fornication in the Next Life? Would he let you go to Hell so he can have pleasure by using you?

Try this "True Islam Test"

1. Does he want you with him in Jennah, close to our prophet, peace be upon him, in the Next Life?

2. Does he only speak to you in front of your wali (father, brother or guardian) being present?

3. Is he mutaqqeen (truly righteous)? What about you? You said you know it is Haram, but you will do it anyway? Is that righteous?- Read Surah Al Zukhruf, chapter 43, verse 67 Allah Says, "Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous"

If you guys really love each other, then you don't shove each other into the Fire of Hell. You would do whatever it takes to stay out of Hell and help each other in righteousness.
True love? That should be for eternity, not for a few months, weeks, or a couple of nights out.

Halal relationship in Islam? It's permitted. No problem! Right after a simple agreement is fulfilled - it's called MARRIAGE.

Now ask yourself, "Do I love Allah?"

Of course you do. But there are two types of love that cannot come together in the heart of a believer:


1. LOVE of Allah, the Rabbil Alameen, Lord of the Worlds, Maliki Yawmadeen, Master on the Day of Judgment!



Sister, wake up! STOP NOW - before it's gets worse and you can't stop. You can still get out of this. Leave this HARAM way - NOW!

Leave it for Allah. Turn to Allah and make Tawbah, repent to Allah now!
Allah will grant you much more that what you will give up of this Haram.

But you have to be strong in front of shayton, strong against the shayton's words and shayton feelings in both of you.

Make the first step - ask Allah, "Guide me, Allah. Forgive me and guide me to what is better for me here and in the Hereafter, ameen."

Cry! You need to. Cry more. You'll feel better.

Tell your parents, you are ready for marriage. And be very serious about going through what it takes to get married (soon) to the right Muslim boy!

Remember, "Never wait for tomorrow to fix what you are doing today! Tomorrow may never come!"



#23 Shaft Camella 2019-08-25 19:04
Does haram mean absolutely not or most likely not?
Because in some cases I know there is a difference.
#22 Myera 2016-08-04 20:56
I read this a couple months ago while I was at the highest peak of my relationship with a Muslim guy for about 1 year. I was really confused as to what to do. I knew it was haram and I didn't want to displease Allah, but I would give into my emotions and I stayed in the relationship, ignoring this post.

I recently returned from Umrah in which I asked Allah for help about this situation. After returning, we got into a huge fight and ended our relationship. I believe this was Allah answering my dua. I just wish that I had made this decision before and not after I got too attached. SISTERS, IF IT WAS REAL HE WOULD MARRY YOU. DON'T FALL FOR HIS WORDS. A broken heart is difficult to return from. May Allah protect us all.
#21 Farishta 2016-03-19 18:56
Asalam alikom I am 17 years old I met this guy on FB he is 18, we have not met. all we do is chat and i told him to tell his family about me he did. But he said he will ask for my hand after 2 years. I want to tell him to come faster but I don't want him or his family to think wrong about me. What should I do?
#20 Muslim brother 2016-03-13 05:54
Salam, a little about myself first. I am 22 nearing graduation in a great university with a great job lined up for me starting this summer Alhamdula. There's this family friend whose a Muslim sister that I've liked for a year. One day we accidently came across each other and have started talking as friends for a couple months only to realize we had a strong mutual feeling towards each other. We are both religious and have avoided contact for awhile to prevent distractions and temptations. Shortly after, we ended up communicating again, still as friends and we never hang out alone. She's currently 18 and in a good university 2 states away, so it turned into a long distance deal. However, we never considered ourselves as boyfriend/girlf riend or put a title to anything. We both know that her family as well as herself wouldn't Be ready to consider marriage till a few years after when she nears finishing her education. However, we don't want to get caught or be mistaken for doing anything by our parents. But I strongly feel and can be confident that she's the one I want to marry and she feels the same. But, it's hard to wait for a few years without talking once, so we decided that i introduce the idea of marriage earlier, possibly within 2 years. We also are strong for preventing temptation and it makes it easier that we don't live anywhere near each other. I don't know where to go. Do I cut it off and tell her knowing she'll feel hurt? Do we get engaged soon? Do we just keep talking as friends? I have been praying for this girl for 2 years now and I can't make the next decision. Please give me advice!
#19 islamic guide 2015-10-19 00:16
A Muslim guy loves me and wants to marry me we stopped talking because it's haram he wanted to keep it halal, we go to the same school and I know him and how his personality is and he is a very religious guy who is 16 years old and I'm afraid he is going to forget me but if Allah wants In'sha'allah we would get married and have a good life but if not I guess I'm still happy. I don't like the guy but his personality and deen make me not mind getting married with him but my question is that is it haram for him to think about me or me to think about him ?
#18 fathima 2015-09-18 14:49
i am 17 now i love a boy for 1 year...i said him hw i feel for him...but he said he ll marry the one whom his mother choose for him...but we do talk in phone he says he dont want to miss me but he wants me to wait and ask his mom if she is okay with me then he is ready to marry me he is just 19..i love him so much dat i pray to allah dat i want to marry him .....we are not in a relationship i love him and yea he also love me even this is haram???
#17 zikra khan 2015-05-27 00:58
its a greate problum in my life i love tha boy who is non mushlim but he also love me and he give up evry thing in his realigon. he love islaam and i have tought him the way of naamz and he do so.he wake in the morning and start to namaaz. and pray to ALLAH to got me he is ready to leave evry thing for me and he totally ignor tha non mushlim way . whatever he pray his dua quickly accepted by ALLAH i shocked from this so tell me either its right to do dis or not
#16 samar 2015-05-24 12:30
i have been in a relationship for three years. Honestly, i come from a very good family, and none of them will allow me to do this because they care about me. I don't hang out with him we just talk from phone. i want to get married soon because im afraid of what might happen. but i can't tell anyone because they wont let me marry this young. im nineteen. :( i fear allah azzawajal, i cry thinking of it.
#15 sara 2015-04-28 14:28
I want prooe from the Quran that its haram to be in relationship
#14 sara 2015-04-28 14:27
I want proof from the quran thats its haram to be in Relationship

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