Someone just asked me about anger and how to deal with it. Me? I am the one who needs to be reminded about this one - No Joke.
Let's all take a moment to think what Islam has for us on this most important subject. After all, anger can destroy relationships faster than fire can burn up a piece of paper.
1st - There are a number of things we can do, but first of all know you are not the only one with this problem. Many of us go through some of the same things. It is very wrong and terrible in front of Allah and we must all repent and work on ourselves.
Someone once asked the prophet, peace be upon him, to give him good advice and the prophet, peace be upon him, said, "Laa taghthab". And the man said, "More..?" And our prophet, peacebe upon him, said again, "Laa taghthab". And then again he answered with the same reply.
What is "taghthab"? It comes from the same root as the word "ghathab". And another form is the word "maghthubi".
Can you remember this word from somewhere?
Yeah. You got it. "Gharil maghthubi alayhim wala dhaaaaalleeen" (Not the way of the maghthubi alayhim, or the Dhaaaleen).
Usually we translate the word "ghathub" as "anger", but Islam translates it closer to the meaning of "wrath".
This is the kind of anger that will produce some action and that is what we tried to remove from our hearts.
Our prophet, peace be upon him, told us, "When you are angry, sit down". He also told us about taking a cold shower and getting away from what makes us angry. Even if you are sitting, then lay down. Change your altitude and position.
Stop looking at the person you are angry with, close your mouth and don't speak.
Tell yourself the other person might be right, even if you are sure they are not. Most of the time you will find the person did have some points but you didn't really give them time to express all of it. Also, many times people don't see what you are trying to say either. The more you get upset, the easier it is for the shayton to get you to say the wrong things and make the matters even worse.
Prophet, peace be upon him, also told us, "The shayton runs through your body like your blood" and he's right. Have you experienced the heat come over you and the hot feeling in your back and head and then all over the body?
Shayton is made from a "smokeless fire" and that is exactly what we feel when we get so upset - shayton in us.
Then look around the community at our young people, our youth and even the youngsters in the lower grades. They also have problems and they don't know how to deal with them. So that is why the more frustrated children get into drug programs, alcohol, sex and gambling - some even kill other people or themselves. All of it to make them feel some kind of 'peace' in their lives.
Try to work with some of the youth or others who will listen to you and learn from you about these things. As you help others, then Allah will help you with the same solutions, inshallah.
Our deen gives us all the things we need in this life and we know it, and all we have to do is to sacrifice for Allah, and give up the things of this world in favor of the things of the Next World.
Spend more time resting and sleeping and less time eating and just joking around. Sleep is crucial, as is a good balanced diet. Actually, the less meat is better I found out from Islam that eating small amounts is even better.
Make sure to pray on time, fast several days every month, recite all of surah Baqarah in your home at least every third day. If you don't know it, play it on CD or tape. Then be sure to recite that last 2 or 3 surahs from Quran every morning and every night. Remember Allah and do extra salat and ask Allah to protect you from the shayton. And all of this helps me to forget why I was getting so angry and move on to other things.