She Wants to Date A Muslim!

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Islam Newsroom UPDATE - Monday March 9, 2015

We answer many questions - but sometimes we must stop everything to really search deep for answers in simple English - For NON-Muslims, as well as Muslims.

Here's a good question from a non-Muslim 'Lady-in-love' with a Muslim man.

Read . .

Hi... I know this might sound really stupid, you may laugh at me but I am really curious. I want to ask a question about Islam and Muslims..

See, I lived in Saudi for six years (I'm American) but I'm still not sure about some of the beliefs and behaviors of Islamics. But for sure, I love a guy who is a Muslim.
But, I don't know how he is supposed too act around women. I really love this guy and I hope you reply back.
(lady-in-love with a Muslim)

Bismillah Rahman Raheem
In the Name of God, The Most Merciful, The Most Gracious
Peace be unto all who follow true guidance

Dear "Lady-in-Love",

Thank you for your letter and indeed, we appreciate your question about what Muslim men should and should not do with members of the opposite sex. This is a very important topic and not one that is taken lightly by any Muslim.

We try our best to provide you with answers to help you better understand and provide references where possible. We do have a website for explaining Islam in the English language and we also provide a live chat room for visitors to have a chance to listen to live and prerecorded programs and ask questions from our scholars and teachers: Continuous broadcasts - live broadcasts on Wednesday nights and on weekends

I am going to try to put links to webpages in the letter to you to assist you in finding the references for the subjects. But after reading this letter you may not wish to pursue your interest in Mr. Muslim. However, it would be better for you to know the truth about Islam and Muslims and not be embarrassed or misunderstood, than to go blindly into something that you might regret later.

You might be surprised to learn that Islam is quite strict compared to the very loose morals of modern day society here in the West. In fact, according to the standards (or lack of them) of our traditions today, I would have to say that most folks here in America would say, Islam is too tame or even worse.

To begin with, all Muslims have to know their religion or else they cannot really be considered as true Muslims. Being born into a Muslim family is not sufficient to be considered a believer. Therefore, most Muslims have attended classes and schools and participated in very in depth studies about what we do and don't believe and what we are to do about our beliefs. Muslims try to put their God (Allah) first in all matters. There is no room for joking about our God; our Book (Quran) or our prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (this is always said after his name or the name of any prophet such as Jesus, peace be upon him).

The correct understanding of the religion of Islam can only be based on the teachingsof the prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him,from the original sources. The two sourcesof Islam are called, The Quran (recitation of Allah's Speech to mankind) and the Sunnah (teachings of the prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, which help explain the meaning of the Quran) and the rulings of the scholars based on these two sources (called 'fatwah').

We recommend for you to read the following articles to help you better understand our answer - BEFORE reading the rest of our answer for you:

· ISLAM - What does it mean?

· ALLAH - Who Is Allah?

· Quran - What is it all about?

· Muhammad, peace be upon him - Who was he?

· Hadeeth - Why are they important?

Here are the main Commandments (arkam ul Islam) and the taboos (called 'haram' in Arabic) for Muslims:

· No worshipping of any god, except the God of Adam, Abraham, Moses, David, Solomon, Jesus and Muhammad, peace be upon them all. (This is the same in the Bible - see: Exodus, chapter 20)(also: Quran, hundreds of times)

· No idols, statues, false gods, etc. (see Bible, as above). (also: Quran, many times)

· No making fun of God's names, characteristics, or anything to do with the religion of Jews, Christians or Muslims (see Bible, as above) (also: Quran, many times)

· Must keep God's Day Holy and pray five times per day (see Bible, as above) (also: Quran)

· Must fast the month of Ramadhan (daylight hours - no eating or drinking or marital relations) (see: Quran, Chapter 2, verse 183).

· Must give charity according to one's wealth (.025 percent annually- not of income - only from holdings) to poor people (see: Quran).

· Must always honor parents and elders, caring for them and treating them with kindness (see Bible, as above) (also: Quran, several times)

· Must honor wife and keep her like a Queen in her palace, give gifts and cherish her in best way (see: Quran, chapter 4 [called, Women] and hadeeth).

· Must perform pilgrimage (Hajj in Arabic) to Mekkah once in lifetime (see: Quran, chapter 2, verse 190+).

· Must care for the needs of others, especially poor and elders,according to one's ability, preferring their needs over self (see: Quran, hadeeth, rulings).

· Must work hard and take care of all expenses for family (wife does not have to work - all ofher wealth is kept by her) (see: hadeeth, rulings)

· Must raise children up to be believers in the One True God, without any partners, and be good, honest, citizens (see: Quran, chapter, 31, hadeeth, rulings)

· No alcohol (even cooked in food) (see: Quran, hadeeth, rulings)

· No smoking (Islamic Rulings)

· No drugs (accept for prescriptions) (see: Hadeeth, rulings)

· No sex outside of marriage (not any type) not before - nor after with anyone expect the spouse (see Bible, as above) (also: Quran, hadeeth, rulings)

· No dating (meeting with a woman socially is not acceptable - meetings with chaperones for the purpose of interviews for marriage are the only exception) (see: hadeeth, rulings).

· No physical contact with the opposite sex (even shaking hands between members of the opposite sexis distasteful to good Muslims) (see: Quran, hadeeth, rulings).

· No listening to musical instruments (Hadeeth,rulings - Quran is the best sound for the Muslims)

· No dancing (involves music and contact) (see: hadeeth, rulings).

· No hanging out at malls, game parlors, pubs, etc. (see: hadeeth, rulings)

· No lying (see Bible, as above) (also: Quran, hadeeth)

· No insulting anyone (see: Quran, chapter 49)

· No backbiting (see: Quran, as above)

· No envy of others and what they have (see Bible, as above) (also see Quran, chapter 49, and chapter 113).

Now after reading all of the above Do's and Don'ts in Islam, I am quite sure that most civilized people in the West would not like to consider giving Islam another thought.
Think about, after all what fun is there in this life if you have to do God's Will on earth? Most would say, "Hey, I just want to party and have fun. Leave me alone, I'm happy and it doesn't matter."

This is not the attitude of the Muslims. We are much more interested in the Life of the Next World and much less interested in the life of this world.

I just spoke with a dear friend of mine from Egypt on the phone. He is an Imam (religious leader) in New Jersey. We were talking about this same subject (actually Muslims always talk about these same subjects). He was saying that just as we abstain from eating and drinking in the day time and then really enjoy these things at nightduring the month of Ramadhan, in the same way, the Muslims avoid certain things in this life so that they can enjoy better things in the Next Life.

Please take your time to learn more about the ways and lifestyle of Muslims before committing yourself to something as serious as this. Open your heart and mind to the One true God and ask Him for help and guidance for your life and for the life of your friend.

I hope that you will take the opportunity to visit with us in our new discussion pages at:

And check out our continuous broadcasts online at: every weekend - live lectures

Here are a few links to some interesting pages. We hope that you will enjoy them, inshallah (God Willing).

We have provided a large number of Internet website pages to help folks better understand just what it is that Muslims do believe about God, Bible, Quran, Jesus and Muhammad, peace be upon them both.

Many people also ask us about the large number of preachers and priests who are coming into Islam. For this reason you will find information on this subject at:

Our websites have many articles that might help you as well. Please take time to visit them at: and for Muslims

We do have audio programs available on our websites at:

Our Video Website (latest entries):

Ask questions - Get answers:

You Type - We Print
(after review)


#7 Michele 2015-01-01 10:02
Don't assume cus he's from Iraqi that he is Muslim. There are Christians from Iraq as well ...
#6 Teri 2012-11-27 16:08
I have met a man from Iraq recently. I assume he is Muslim. I see him daily and he tells me i am Beautiful everyday. I will not lie that there is an attraction but i am Christian. For someone I love I would conquer any obsticle. I cannot tell how he feels yet. I see him watching for me daily and really want to know him better. I have read that a Muslim man will not date unless he is considering marriage. He has told me he has no friends or family here. I hate for anyone to be lonely and I want to be his friend. Is it wrong for me to ask him to a movie or other events as a friend? What if I think I might want more from him?_Thanks, Teri
__ EDITOR TO TERI __ Please read this to know more about dating (or not dating) in Islam on this link
#5 idris 2012-02-19 09:37
great reply to her question,, ,allah tabarak vata'la have cherished hazrat yusufestes with great knowledge i wish i too blessed as such so that from the Grace of Allah could spread islam over my non-muslim friends and some of the distracted acquaintance...
#4 L 2011-08-07 15:54
I don't see her being "National Guard", and being in the same location (Saudi Arabia) for 6 years, as she says she lived there for that amount of time. Perhaps she is very young and her father worked there. In any case, maybe it's better that she ask than just do what she wants with no respect.

#3 Kamil Nadeem 2011-06-09 09:07
AsSalamuAlykum, Excellent Reply to "Lady-IN-LOVE"
#2 aya 2011-05-07 22:56
Funny, isn't is? Actually, I think that she maybe working with National Gaurd, or some large institution in Saudi, because they do offer compounds and such for Westerners (so they can dress as they wish away from public minus alcohol). However, I also know of many ladies doing dauwaa.... Also, I know a lady who married a Saudi guy and is a new revert to Islam... so, lady in love should perhaps think about marriage....and Islam as well. After all, why would many Jews, zionists or otherwise, Hindus, athiests, christians, and otherwise turn to Islam if they don't like it? :-)
#1 nina 2011-01-06 02:52
something is fishy about this mail! lady says she is American and has lived for 6(six) years in saudi.....and calls them Islamics!! there is no such word, so she is either lying or at best totally oblivious to the world around her for 6yrs!! Blessings!

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