"Why me God? I just want to kill myself!"

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"I am going to kill myself.."

She said in her email to us:

suicide small2

 Islam Newsroom article #1753 "Suicide is Not the End"

So many of our youth today have lost the desire to live. In emails and text messages I am seeing more and more of our young Muslim brothers and especially our teenage sisters crying about how miserable their lives are and how they feel there is no hope and no way out - and they say, "I'm gonna kill myself"

This story is an example of the many letters and messages we receive monthly at GuideUS.TV and This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

suicide kill myself

Salam alaykum Sheikh Yusuf Estes. I saw you on TV give shahadah to a nice man and crys when he say shahadah, mashallah.
I also came to Islam and wish to see you and hug you so much. But I want to just die because what a man did to me. I hate him so much.
He made me not a virgin anymore and rapped me over and over so much and . . he is my uncle . .
My mom and dad also not get married.
I love anyone to tell my I'm pretty and my boyfriend he beats me and makes me steal and do drug things and stuff too and he also gave me to another man for sex and he did the sex to me in a very bad, bad way. I hate that too.
I get beat too bad and go to doctor and talk to Arab on chatroom. I get new ideas and I love to be a Muslim like her, to cover the hair and be protected by God.
I read Koran and say shahadah and I believe only One God and Mohamed the messenger of the God.
I pray the pray every dday but my mind keep going back and see in my mind the men hurting me and doing the sex.
I feel crazy and they lock me up in a room and . . I need help please.
I am not good because they ruin me so much. I am not the virgin and no man will want me now.
I want to just die and kill myself.
I want God forgive me but I am not the virgin. So how can I ask God? It is my fault but how do I change?
Pleas e help me . . helpme 
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#11 Yusuf Estes 2019-08-26 10:07
Salam alaykum. We have to give positive messages for those who are depressed, anxious and worried about things in their lives.
It is not sufficient or correct to simply say, "Don't be depressed" or "Don't worry" or "Everything is going to be OK".
These statements are actually the opposite of what they need to hear. After all, if you are really upset or angry, how do you feel when someone tells you, "Don't be upset" or "Just don't be angry".
Add to that, when someone says, "You can't feel like that, because it is HARAM in Islam to feel that way".
Now how would that make you feel?
Professional counseling is one of the most preferred ways for treatment of severe depression. Even if the doctor or counselor isn't a Muslim or scholar of Islam, their training for helping people with depression is important for many cases.
If you have a doctor or imam who has training in this area, this is even better.
The main thing is to get help for the person immediately and not play around thinking you can get them to read an ayah or hadith or some fatwa that is going to help them.
We are planning on doing a live series on the topic of "Clinical Depression and It's Treatment" on GuideUS.TV/live
So make dua for us, ask Allah to give us the right answers for those who call in on the live show and for those who see the programs in the future to be rightly guided to the correct solutions.
If you or anyone you know is suffering from severe depression, anxiety or extreme mood swings, call a doctor, use a help line, talk to a counselor immediately.
Whatever you do, don't wait - Get help.
I pray for all of us to protect by Allah for these extreme emotions, unusual doubts, phobias and fears, Ameen.
May Allah grant us true "salama" and "salam" (safety, security and peace), Ameen.
#10 Armita 2012-06-12 23:09
Good girl I really love this story :*
I'm sure that God forgive u darling no worry :-)
#9 Shifa 2012-04-14 06:01
Peace be upon all.
Dear sis, I wld like to remind of the story of a prostitute who was really thirsty and found a well, she got down and satisfied her thirst. When she came up she saw a dog really, really, thirsty. She went all the way and got the dog some water in her shoes. Prob she realised that she was desperately in need of God's forgiveness more than the dog needs water. And SubhaanAllah she was forgven and given paradise!! Don't think God's help won't come. Be patient. InshaAllah we'll pray 4 u.
#8 Mehdi 2011-12-18 12:14
You know, blood and air are still running through your veins, you\'re still breathing! And thank Allah for that. either What happened your fault or not! Why don\'t you just forget yourself? The whole world need you! Don\'t you know you are not useless? Just try to enjoy your new life, and believe me inchaalah, you are going to marry a man who deserves you as Pure woman! We all do mistakes and as long as we repent to Allah and ask his forgiveness it will be accepted inchaalah, just keep going forward keep your head up And smile!! If the bad ideas come up and try to ruin you, don\'t pay attention to it! just forgive yourself, and try your best to forgive any person who mistreated you then you may inchaalah be free, and then you may feel proud. I swear a good man wouldn\'t mind marrying you if he knew you are thriving to become a better person, a better muslim no matter what you were or what happened to you. May allah bless you, and Welcom to Islam.
#7 Ashiru 2011-12-16 21:03
May Allah be please with u
#6 Exmuslim 2011-12-12 15:28
Islam is the truth

Not like other fake religions, built on lies... here's the proof www.WhatsIslam.com
#5 Rajab 2011-12-12 01:31
May Allah help this person and make her forget her past and allow her to move on in life as a good practicing Muslim. Ameen!!!
#4 Cassie 2011-12-10 22:52
Ya Allah!
#3 sk 2011-12-10 01:31
i think you should see a counselor to dicuss you problems. You should file a police report against the person who raped you
#2 Maria Zair 2011-12-08 12:27
I\\\\\\\'m not going to wait the end of the story because it will be late but just don\\\\\\\'t do it It\\\\\\\'s not your fault to be in this situation.You\\ \\\\\'re Muslim now and all what happened to you before is forgiven and you may change your life ,never go back and think rather go ahead and keep your mind busy with knowing Allah the most forgiver and and all His all His Names and Attributes you\\\\\\\'ll learn for sure the truth of your life and the truth Why He guided you to Islam it\\\\\\\'s very deep understanding .What Happened to you is not random it a sens That you are human you\\\\\\\'ll confront all trials and many more in your life but the strongest one is the one who has hope knowing that Allah will accept his repentance and forgives his sin and make him a true believer.As long as you\\\\\\\'re in life you have chance to make the right decision because the one you\\\\\\\'re looking for is not the good one rather it\\\\\\\'s the worst ever for this life and the hereafter._It\\ \\\\\'s one of the major sins that Allah will not forgive use your mind and intellect._I\\\ \\\\'ll would like to let you know that many girls and women had the same problem but they didn\\\\\\\'t go beyond and they managed their situation by making a good relation with Allah and forget this trial._I\\\\\\\ 'm willing to help you to find your way a true way._Assalam Alaykum

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