My Boys Quit Praying HELP!

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My Boys Don't Pray Anymore

Our sister is asking for help -

...even at home they drag their feet and only pray in mosque a little in Ramadhan. If I don't say something about it, they don't do prayers at all.

Question is, is it wrong or harsh when I tell them that if Rasulullah were here our house would likely be burnt down (referring to a hadith) as he wanted all the men to go salah at the masjid?

My husband said if they go for Maghrib is good enough since they might get 'burnt out' or the fact that they are going because they are scared of me ... I am so confused .. I told them whether they like it or not they have to go ... it is like salah and fasting, no choice you have to go do especially since the masjid is so very near to us .. so help me please Sheikh Yusuf ..

Am I being too harsh a mom?
Let me know how to do this better - Or am I saying truth?
InshaAllah this isn't too troublesome for you inshaAllah.

. Answer:

Bismillah Rahman Raheem was salat was salam ala rasool al kareem, maa ba'd. - No, this is not too troublesome for me at all. I am pleased when a mom has so much concern for her children and does not play around with Islam. You are doing something very good - you are helping your children to attain victory over shayton and to go to heaven, inshallah.

It appears that your whole family is, maashallah, good Muslims who love Allah and want to be closer to Him. Perhaps you are trying to push them a little too much right now, for their particular condition? I don't know what they are going through or what they are experiencing, but I would love to see them increase their ibadah (worship) at least a little bit every day.

Consider if they could at least pray the two most important salat in the masjid, this would be a great start. (Fajr and Esha) These are mentioned in the hadeeth about nifaq (hypocracy) and all of us need to be aware of missing these great blessings in the jamma'h (congregation).

You mentioned they are very close to the masjid, in this case it is more important than if they lived 30 minutes away or more. But take care not to make a fatwah (Islamic ruling) based on only one or two hadeeth. There is something that all of the scholars must take into consideration when making a fatwah, that is the ahwal (conditions) that surround the circumstances.

Continue to encourage them to pray at least something in the masjid everyday. Then slowly increase from one to two and then to three, etc. You might also show approval to them when they return from the masjid and even have some treats for them in way of appreciation. After all, you are receiving increased blessings from Allah Ta'ala for calling them to these good deeds.

You might also ask them to lead you and each other in the salat at home in case they don't make it to the masjid. That is also a jammat, but not as much as the masjid. If they are living close enough to hear the adhan then they should make every effort to attend, as their salat made after that may not count if they could have easily made it in the jammat.

Don't worry about the burning of the house hadeeth too much just yet. I have read explanations from scholars about this and it is not good to take this out of context.

Keep in mind too, you want them to do this for the sake of Allah and not just to please you. After you and I are gone, we want our children to continue on their journey toward Allah and His Paradise.

Remember these days, we should be pleased as long as they are improving even a little, day by day. Because this is better than a flash in the pan and then nothing.

Our prophet, peace be upon him, told us what means in English, "Allah Loves what is done on a regular basis, even if it is small, more than what is done big, but is only done once".

Pray to Allah to guide them (and all of us), inshallah.

Thanks for the question and you might like to also visit a site that offers more answers:

Jazakallah khair (may Allah increase you in all that is good), for your interest in Islam and the Muslims.
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#3 Stephanie 2013-12-25 16:33
Selam aleikum, with my experience, no matter how much you try, you can't force anybody.they themselves must open their eyes. good point SK, but it could be that they go out and could do more haram waisted stuff, again due to my the best of muslim you can, let Quran be recitated through Radio CD, Internet, a satellite channel like from Yusuf's Estes or Zakir Naik..and inshAllah it will come to his heart.
#2 sk 2011-08-14 03:40
It's called get rid of the tv in your house. maybe your kids might go the masjid more often.
#1 Cassie 2011-08-04 14:20
Praise be to Allah

Its so strange I came across this topic, I'm having the same issue with my younger brothers at the moment. I really want them to see the importance of praying in the masjid esp as young men.
With the will of Allah we will all get better and Allah will help us to perfect out religion for His pleasure.

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