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LOVE without marriage
Is It Haram?
Marriage or love 02

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ISLAM NEWSROOM UPDATE - Love or Marriage

Love (sex) before marriage: Is it Haram?

I am not surprised at the number of our youth today who are being deceived by the devil himself. He is the one who swore to the Creator of the universe, he would take Adam and all of his chldren with him to the Hell-Fire. (May Allah save us all from that, ameen)

Here is the beginning of Surah An-Nur, chapter 24 of the Quran, has to say about the fornicators (those who have sex without being married):

1. A sūrah which Allah has sent down and made obligatory and revealed in it verses of clear evidence so you might remember.

2. The woman or man found guilty of sexual intercourse - whip each one with 100 lashes, and do not take pity on them in the deen of Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a group of the believers witness their punishment.

3. The fornicator does not marry except another fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the believers.

4. And those who accuse chaste women and then do not produce four witnesses – lash them with eighty lashes and do not accept from them testimony ever after. And those are the defiantly disobedient,

5. Except for those who repent thereafter and reform, for indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.

Recently, I have received a number of messages and questions in our programs from our youngsters concerning what they refer to as the "Modern World" we live in today.

Check this out:

Salam alaykum Sheikh Yusuf,

My whole family loves your TV series and programs you guys launched on satellite TV. We always watch Guide US TV and Karim Abu Zaid, Dr. Yasir Qadhi, Dr. Philips, Imam Shamsiali and Imam Mutahhir. We also love seeing the brother from Canada, Abu Hafsah. They are all so cool.
I want to ask you about something bothering a lot of us today. As you know, we all live in a modern world, we have co edu universities and colleges, boys and girls are freely interacting and some of them are committed.
I realize being in relationships before marriage is not really good and some say it's haram. I never did it yet, by the Mercy of Allah and hope I can make it to get married without this bad deed.
But my colleagues and friends all seem to be in relationships, some of them date out in the open and even my relatives tell me there's no problem in making love before marriage.
What do you say about all of this? Is there something in the Quran or hadeeth of our prophet, peace be with him, saying this is haram or if there is any kind of punishment for having love before marriage. My parents think love before marriage is becoming more and more normal.
So, what do you say about love before marriage?
I can't wait to hear from you. Jazzakala.
[a sister]

Here is my reply back to our sister:

Bismillah Rahman Raheem

Salam alaykum Sister,
Thank you for your kind remarks and keep watching Guide US TV.

As to your quesion - It is hard for me to read what some of you guys write to me these days.
You said and I quote, "We live in a modern world..."
But, I don't think so.
Consider what the condition of America was just a few decades ago. It was back in the 1930's when my father was growing up that young man did not go anywhere with a decent girl unless they were engaged and an adult chaperone was with them the whole time.
When my mother was growing up, it was "haram" (Christian haram) for a good Christian lady to go in public if she was pregnant.
When I was growing up, it was "haram" even as Christians, for a boy and girl to kiss out in public. One time when I asked a teenage girl to go to the movies, she told me to ask her father. He said, 'yes', but only after I had to listen to everything he had about being a good Catholic, and finally he let me and my friend take his two daughters to a drive-in movie, and even said we could all go in his new car - and he was the driver!
What I am telling you is ever since the beginning of time, people knew it was "haram" for men and women who are not married, to be left alone together because even if "something" did not happen, people would think it did. A girl's reputation could be ruined just because she was seen coming out of the movies with a guy that was not her husband.
The devil is happy for people to lower their standards and morals. He loves to see us go downhill in our behavior and become lower in our thinking and drop our standards.
If a man or woman got a divorce it was considered that one of them must have "cheated" as there just was no other reason for such a thing. My own parents divorced in 1955. My father's family were amazed and my mother's parents could not accept it at all. It was so horrible for everyone that my parents remarried each other a few years later just to keep the family happy.
Being a virgin used to be very important for a girl and boy when they got married. Divorces were considered very horrible, even until the beginning of the 1970's.
Today people don't think anything about a girl being married three or four times or a man having a girlfriend even though he is in a "relationship" with another girl.

Here is what Allah tells about this in His Speech to us (Al Quran):

1. A sūrah which Allah has sent down and made obligatory and revealed in it verses of clear evidence so you might remember.

2. The woman or man found guilty of sexual intercourse - whip each one with 100 lashes, and do not take pity on them in the deen of Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a group of the believers witness their punishment.

3. The fornicator does not marry except another fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the believers.

4. And those who accuse chaste women and then do not produce four witnesses – lash them with eighty lashes and do not accept from them testimony ever after. And those are the defiantly disobedient,

5. Except for those who repent thereafter and reform, for indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.

Our prophet, peace be upon him, told us many things about this. I would like to share a few things from that with you.
The most famous hadeeth about this is, "There is no such thing as a man and a woman alone together - because when a man and a woman are alone together - SHAYTON IS THE THIRD."
So the devil is right there trying his best to inspire them to do something and if they don't, he will at least try to make people think something bad.
Our prophet, peace be upon him, also said there would come a time when a man and a woman would be kissing and hugging in plain site out in public, and the level of faith of people at that time would be so weak that the strongest among them would only be able to ask the couple to move to the side out of the main path.

Another sister was asking similar questions and asked about the "Hijab" and why bother, since we all live in a "modern world".

I invite anyone who is a true and honest thinker in today's world to consider what our own Muslim sister said while she was with Hillary Clinton recently. Nobel Prize winner Tawakkul Karman was asked about her hijab being inappropriate with her level of intellect and education

Here is what she said:

"Man in early times was almost naked, as his intellect evolved he started wearing clothes. What I am today and what I'm wearing represents the highest level of thought and civilization that man has achieved, and it not regressive. It is the removal of clothes again that is a regression back to the ancient times"

hijab comment Tawakkul Karman

 

More about "Hijahb" on www.IslamsWomen.com

 

You call today's society a "modern world" - I call it a "shayton world".

Jazakallah khair was salam alaykum,
Yusuf Estes

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Comments   

#9 sami ur rehman 2015-05-05 22:35
Sheikh I have Just one Question if you can kindly please put light on it. If one like a girl he should send her proposal of Nikkah ...and does it mandatory for man to have job and money because one preacher told us in Jummah prayer that a man should earn even if its a little
#8 rizwana 2014-02-05 09:08
one of my friend loving a hindu boy nd she is muslim...what allah says about ter marriage?
#7 Mona 2013-06-07 13:07
JazakALLAH.I am so inspired by you yusuf estes.May ALLAH accept your every effort made in the way of islam.May ALLAH be pleased with you!! I would be so happy if you were my grand pa :-)
#6 Mohammad Motiur Rahman 2012-06-19 09:27
I am sure before merrage loe is completely Haraam, because Islam, or Hadis, Quraan do not permit us (if we are baaligh). Because boys and girls could be a friend before Marriage.
#5 Bu Saad 2012-06-16 23:59
Asalam alaikum wrb
Well, its not about mahrem to watch over them,
If the would be wife/husband meet in the presence of mahrems, then it is permissible. Everything should be done under the purview of Sharia.

Peace!!
#4 Mintee 2012-06-16 21:42
If a man and a woman use a mahrem to watch over them, there is time to get to know a fiance and fall in love.
Allah created love emotions in us humans, and there is no reason why we cant fall in love before marriage, in a pure islamic moral manner.
#3 Muhammad Ali Azeem 2012-06-16 12:24
Dear Sir,
Assalam-o-alaikum,
Inspired by your thoughts, many times i qoute your words in discussions. About Love before Marriage, i agree with you. But about choice in marriage, I have heard some people saying that before marriage, it is allowed for a girl and boy to have a discussion behind veils. is this true? if yes, then how and where it has been explained in Hadeeth?

Thanks.
#2 z . a . y . b 2012-06-16 11:55
love comes after marriage
#1 Majed 2012-06-16 11:48
Maybe the sister meant being in love before marriage? I truly hope it's not the other assumption.

It's so sad, but very expected to see all the horrible results that appear in our communities due to emptiness of our hearts, lack of iman, and absence of true goals and ambitions in life that keep the youth focused and busy.

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