Can I Marry Catholic Man?
Can My Kids Be Christians?
We receive a lot of email from Muslims asking about marriage.
But this time it is coming from a sister asking very important questions . .
Sir, I have two Questions re:
"Marriage to non-Muslim men"
1. First question:
Can a Muslim woman marry a non-Muslim guy? If not, why?
There is a real nice guy who says he believes God is One and he is a Catholic.
He said, "When I get married, I don't want a problem about Islam"
2. Second question:
Do I have to force my kids to be Moslems? Do they have to pray, fast & read Quran and stuff?
By the way, I think is OK in Islam for me to marry anyone and then let my kids choose what they like, because Quran says, "There is no compulsion in Religion" Right?
Answer #1 & #2: "Believers marry only believers, but . . ."
Thank you for writing to us with your question and for asking about what Islam teaches regarding marriage to those outside of our faith.
First and foremost, we must explain "ISLAM" is more than a man-made religion comprised of human philosophy and guess work. Islam presents a true balance for the entire life of the humanbeings.
There are "rights" but there are also very clear "limits" for everyone and everything.
While it is true, Allah does in some instances allow Muslim men to marry from the believers that are chaste from the People of the Book (Jews and Christians) we must include all conditions involved.
However, this must be understood in the light and content of revelation and not be misconstrued to mean, "anyboy can marry anybody - if they say they are believers."
There can be no mistake, mixed marriages frequently have serious consequences.
This is true even amongst Christian groups, and moreso the Catholics than the Protestants.
I recall the Catholic Church forbidding marriage outside of their faith, even to other Christian groups. They even provided forms to be signed prior to "mixed" marriages wherein it was agreed that any children resulting from the marriage would only be raised as Catholic.
Once a particular faith affiliation is established in the heart and mind of an individual, it is often difficult for them to concede on matters of religious upbringing and lifestyles contradicting their particular choice of belief. This is especially true of those who choose to follow Islam.
One very important thing Islam has brought for those who would give consideration to obeying their Lord and drawing closer to Him in the Next Life, is the important subject of "Rights and Limitations".
A simple statement regarding what Allah has established for us humans is found in these words - "Rights & Limits".
Allah dictates to believers what has the most rights, who has the highest rights and the level of rights everything has in our universe. Even our bodies have rights according to Islam. Obviously, we have to know limitations are there as well, and we have to stay within those limits.
Islam commands marriages "only to believers" and this relates to the concept of Islam itself. "Islam" means, total surrender to God, submission (to commandments), obey (God above anything He created), sincere with God and peace with Almighty God, no matter what He may cause to happen in our lives.
A true Muslim totally commits themselves to Almighty God Allah, on His terms and obeys His commandments. The word "Muslim" is from the word "Islam". The one who does the action of surrender, submit, obey, sincerity and peace with Almighty God - is a "MU-Islam".
Many people are just not ready to make that kind of life commitment. Doing the Will of God on earth as it is in Heaven, is actually a part of the teaching we find in two Gospels in the Holy Bible, wherein Jesus, peace be upon him, taught his followers how to pray.
There are many "dos" and "don'ts" in the religion of monotheism based on the teachings of the "God of Abraham" (Judaism, Christianity and Islam).
The Old Testament is lined with so many commandments that I cannot count them all. The New Testament doesn't really add anything new.
However the Bible does clearly call for an adherence to the "Law" (Torah) of the Old Testament.
This is still existing in today's version of the Bible, Matthew, 5:17-20; wherein Jesus, peace be upon him, tells his audience, not even one dot shall be dropped out of the Law (commandments):
The commandments of Allah in the Quran are very similar and the concept of obedience to them is the same as in Judaism and Christianity. Allah tells us in the Qur'an about the people before us (Jews and Christians) and what they were ordered to do:
There is a verse in Quran, often referred to by those interested in the subject of Muslims marrying from the "People of the Book":
Sometimes Muslims without knowledge of meaning of Quran have taken this verse to mean they can eat anything at all if it is coming from Christians or Jews.
However, the main point is to follow basic rules for slaughter, i.e.; proper selection of animal, health, allow blood to flow out, and dead prior to butchering, etc.
Let us continue reading the verse:
A very important verse regarding marriage for Muslim men and the rights and limitations prescribed by Allah. The limitations here include "chaste" women from the believers and the ahl kitab (Jews and Christians) but then the phrase "before your time" and the phrase "desiring chastity" and not committing illegal sexual intercourse, not girl-friends. And then the subject of "belief" comes up again.
It now becomes clear, even the Muslim men are not permitted to marry from other than the "believers" and they have to be virgins. The Muslim women could not be permitted to marry from any except believers, due to the serious problem of raising the children without the correct beliefs.
We notice that the correct belief in Allah (He is uniquely One without any partners) is the most important subject before anything else. Those who commit shirk (partners with Allah) are by far, the worst in the Sight of Allah. The clear message is they are going to be inviting you to the Hell Fire.
Conclusion: Marriage for believers, is only to other believers.
Now ask yourself the question: "How could this be achieved without the correct belief on the part of both?"
Advice: Pray to Allah. Ask Him for His Forgiveness and for His Guidance. Then be ready for Him to make some very serious changes in your life. He always tests the believers.
He says in Quran:
Allah loves the believers and will never let them down.