She Married a Hindu! Problems?

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She Is A Proud Muslim!
She Loves Her Parents!
She's Married to a Hindu?
Is this a Problem?

Bismillah Rahman Raheem

I'm a proud Muslim woman by birth. I love and care for my parents.
However, I did something a few years ago that hurt my dad and mom very much. I did something with a man who loves me and cares for me very much. I do not regret what I have with him and I want him always as my life partner. He is the right person for me and no one is going to tell me different.
Now he is a Hindu man and a good person too.
He lets me follow Islam and I have no problem wdone ith him being a Hindu. We both understand and more important is the equality in our relationship, our marriage will be based on cooperation and understanding, without others telling us how to live our lives. This is something lacking in the Muslim culture, I think.
We live in India which is a Hindu nation and Hindu culture. Therefore, I do not see a problem with what we are doing at all.
My question to you is, "How do I convince my parents, especially my father that this man is the right man for me and I want him always. He is the right man for my father's number one daughter!
My father somehow believes a Muslim girl is not allowed to marry a non-Muslim man, like my husband to be. What can I show him from the Quran or sunnah or some fatwah that it is OK for me to marry the one and only man I love?
What does Quran actually say, if anything about all of this?
I know it is OK because I see people doing this all the time and even some mulanas are doing something like this, on temporary marriage basis or something like that.
Just give me something to satisfy my father, please.

Answer: Allahu 'Alim -
Salam alaykum sister,

Islam teaches us to always obey our parents in everything thing except in committing shirk (partners with Allah). So this is the first problem. Your parents are always there for you and you always have a relationship with them.
But what about some man? And what about his parents too?
Think about this while you read the following, please.

Unfortunately, this is not about being proud of yourself or your culture or race or nationalism at all.

Even saying you are proud to be a Muslim woman does not mean you are necessarily following the Way of Islam, itself.

Everyone of us must choose to be a true Muslim, by following what Islam teaches.
The word "Muslim" comes from the root in Arabic, "Aslama" and that carries a number of meanings from English, because the English language does not have this word. So here are the principle meanings within the word "Muslim":

The one who does 'aslama' is a mu-slim', because this person gives over their choices in any matter to the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, Allah.
They are in total: Submission, Surrender, Obedience, Sincerity, Peace and Purity - with Allah in all matters and all final decisions rest with Allah.
Details on this topic are found on our website at:

This topic should not be about you getting married to a good, kind and loving man - who is a HINDU.
It should be about you following Islam, according to Quran and Sunnah and accepting the man whom Allah chooses for you to enter Paradise with.

Allow me to share more than just my "feelings" about this topic and then at the end I would like to offer a very nice solution to the whole thing that would make everyone happy, inshallah.

Let me begin with a few very real facts from Islam, in the Quran, then make a few statements based on emotional and logical outcomes based on the available choices.

I do see your point about finding someone you feel comfortable with and want to make a life with. The problem is, it is not acceptable to Allah. He does not consider what you have as a true marriage, due to it not being within what He has prescribed in His Book.

You may see this man as something very good, especially to you. But have you thought about this, the man does not believe in Allah, as One and only One God. The man does not believe in Adam, Ibrahim, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad, peace be on them, as prophets. He does not love Allah. He cannot enter Jennah. You cannot be with him in the Next Life.

Marriage to such a person will only end in a huge problem. The man would eventually challenge something from Allah's religion, and the woman would have to make a decision to leave him or stay without real Islam anymore.

Another problem would be the children. She would be intimidated by the man's family to allow the children to become their religion, or at least to allow these children to "choose for themselves". And that would be rejected by Allah on the part of the parents. The mother and father of a child are responsible for raising their children in the best way, as believers.

So what kind of relationship is this going to be anyway? You say you love him, but then you don't show much interest in what will happen to him after death. Does that make sense?

The fact is, men and women who are believers in Allah, can only marry other believers in Allah. This is according to Allah's Speech (Quran) to all of us.
Take a look for yourself --

Surah Al Maidah, chapter 5, verse 5

Here is the transliteration:
Al-Yawma 'Uĥilla Lakumu Aţ-Ţayyibātu Wa Ţa`āmu Al-Ladhīna 'Ūtū Al-Kitāba Ĥillun Lakum Wa Ţa`āmukum Ĥillun Lahum Wa Al-Muĥşanātu Mina Al-Mu'umināti Wa Al-Muĥşanātu Mina Al-Ladhīna 'Ūtū Al-Kitāba Min Qablikum 'Idhā 'Ātaytumūhunna 'Ujūrahunna Muĥşinīna Ghayra Musāfiĥīna Wa Lā Muttakhidhī 'Akhdānin Wa Man Yakfur Bil-'Īmāni Faqad Ĥabiţa `Amaluhu Wa Huwa Fī Al-'Ākhirati Mina Al-Khāsirīna

Translation to English:
By sister Umm Mohamed in Sahih International: This day all good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And lawful (for marriage) to Muslim men are the chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking (secret) lovers.
And whoever denies the faith – their work has become worthless, and they, are in the Hereafter, among the losers.

Surah Baqarah, (the Cow) chapter 2, verse 221
And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those who invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.

Surah Al Mumtahinah (the Woman Examined), chapter 60, verse 10
Transliteration: Yā 'Ayyuhā Al-Ladhīna 'Āmanū 'Idhā Jā'akum Al-Mu'uminātu Muhājirātin Fāmtaĥinūhunna Allāhu 'A`lamu Bi'īmānihinna Fa'in `Alimtumūhunna Mu'uminātin Falā Tarji`ūhunna 'Ilaá Al-Kuffāri Lā Hunna Ĥillun Lahum Wa Lā Hum Yaĥillūna Lahunna Wa 'Ātūhum Mā 'Anfaqū Wa Lā Junāĥa `Alaykum 'An Tankiĥūhunna 'Idhā 'Ātaytumūhunna 'Ujūrahunna Wa Lā Tumsikū Bi`işami Al-Kawāfiri Wa As'alū Mā 'Anfaqtum Wa Līas'alū Mā 'Anfaqū Dhālikum Ĥukmu Allāhi Yaĥkumu Baynakum Wa Allāhu `Alīmun Ĥakīmun
O you who believe, when the believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them. Allah is most knowing as to their faith. And if you know them to be believers, then do not return them to the disbelievers; they are not lawful wives for them, nor are they lawful husbands for them. But give the disbelievers what they have spent. And there is no blame upon you if you marry them when you have given them their due compensation. And hold not to marriage bonds with disbelieving women, but ask for what you have spent and let them ask for what they have spent. That is the judgement of Allah; He judges between you. And Allah is Knowing and Wise.

The word in Arabic translated here as 'polytheist' is 'al mushrikaati' and this is the female form of the word. That is because it is not permissible for Muslim women to even consider marriage to a non-Muslim man. The word translated in surah al Mumtahinah as 'disbelievers' is 'al kuffari' in Arabic and this is the male.

Let us consider some of the reasons for this, inshallah.
Number one, and absolutely the most important, is because Allah Subhannah wa Ta'ala has said so. And it is not up to us to even worry about the "WHY" when we have a very clear commandment from Allah telling us to do something or not to do something. The best reference from the Quran is in chapter 4, surah An-Nisaa', verse 65.

Surah An Nisaa', chapter 4, verse 65

But no, by your Lord, they will not [truly] believe until they make you, [O Muhammad], judge concerning that over which they dispute among themselves and then find within themselves no discomfort from what you have judged and submit in [full, willing] submission.

There can be no doubt after this verse, everything is hinged off of our belief and our actions together - not separate. Allah is swearing on Himself in this verse! How strong is that? He is saying we are NOT believers, if we see in Quran or hadeeth a Commandment from Allah and then we don't accept it whole heartily, with no discomfort or reservation in our hearts or minds.

Recall, if you will, the story of Adam in the Paradise and what it was that Allah said to Adam, telling him not to even approach or come near to the forbidden tree. He was not just ordered to avoid eating the fruit from it. He was ordered "STAY AWAY".
OK, now consider this, what was wrong with the tree? What was wrong with the fruit from the tree? Was it poison? Was it spoiled? Did Allah want it for some other purpose?
The answer is, "Who cares?" Allah gave an order, what are you doing, thinking and contemplating the reasons for the order, while you are sitting there eating the fruit?

Idolators (non-Jewish, non-Christian and non-Muslim) are never accepted as believers and not lawful for the Muslim men to marry. The Jewish and Christian women (only) are permitted to marry the believing men, so as to allow them to have the opportunity to draw closer to the truth and learn more about Islam. Their children would be raised automatically as believing Muslims.

How about this idea, you start taking a more serious look at your own religion and begin to really practice it as much as you can. Then if you see it for what it really is, you can share your findings with this man. Then if he likes what you are talking about and decides he does find this attractive, you help him come to the true Islam. Then both of you will be much better off in this life and in the Next Life.

Here is a nice video part one and two for you both to enjoy and see what it can do to help out:

Meantime, you are in big trouble with your family and with Allah Subhannah Wa Ta'ala. This needs to be corrected (ended) or you could destroy yourself and not help him either.
Oh, and by the way, according to Allah - this man is NOT your husband - Not in the sight of Almighty Allah. It is only adultery you are doing and calling it marriage to a Hindu.

Sister, we are praying for you and for this man to be rightly guided by Allah to the deen al-Haqq - Islam. Do your best and ask Allah to help you all.

Jazakallah khair was salam alaykum,
Yusuf Estes

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#65 suppi 2016-01-18 04:24
Good explanation sir, and nice advice to that sister!
#64 Shono 2015-10-22 08:16
LOL, its hinduism which treats women as whore,dev dashi(sex slave), thats why you had sathi pratha, your religion needed many bans to fit in this era, LOL :-)

When hindu women were being burned alive in india in the name of sathi pratha, when hindu women didn`t have any right over her father`s property, when hindu lower caste women were served as dev dashi i.e. sex slave of brahmins, muslim women were going to university, and that too in 8th century

Women are nothing but Sex Slaves, Whores, Object in Hinduism as per Hindu Scriptures

Women are fickle minded. Never believe them. Friendship with a women is just like friendship with a wolf. (Rig-Veda 8-33-7).

A virtuous woman is one who dies on the funeral pyre of her dead husband and avails the privilege of serving her husband in the other world. (Atharva Veda 18-3-1) this is known as sathi pratha

Women are liars, corrupt, greedy, and un-virtuous. (Manu II 1)

All women are born of sinful wombs. (Bhagavad-Gita IX 32)
#63 NoProphet 2015-05-09 04:07
This is all foolish, Hindu religion is most tolerant on the earth, if you love the Man and if he cares about you be with him all the time regardless of religion. And believe me you as a couple will be always happy like Lord Vishnu and Laxmi
#62 Iwasbornasamuslim 2015-03-11 03:11
Why Bad things happen to Good People
#61 sweety 2015-01-29 14:33
There is one who doesn't believe that Allah is only one God. And there is not any other religion (except able to Allah), and all religions are created by mankind.
How do we explain to him? How can we make him believe in Allah?
Can anyone please help me?

EDITOR: Please refer him to and
#60 shah zenith 2015-01-19 13:23
What ever Allah is permissible.. Is permissible ..But what ever Allah prohibited is something you must far away
#59 asif 2015-01-15 08:22
You have mentioned in your reply "You cannot be with him in the Next Life"

Your comment is against islam because islam doesnot advocate re-birth theory as hindu & buddhist believe.

So, I advise you to just read holy quran in complete.
#58 swt 2014-12-10 12:35
SubhanAllah brother. ... wad a wndrfl advice to sister. ... I myself love non muslim gal n soon vil get married n I asked her 2 gt convrt in2 islam... n shez ready. ..
sister dnt 4gt.... at d end of the life v have 2 face AZAAB in kabr

(editor: we do not recommend asking anyone to "convert" to Islam just for marriage or any worldly thing. Be sure they know what it is all about first)
#57 priyanka 2014-12-07 16:36
Good advice..
#56 esther 2014-11-27 13:40
wow!! The advice is just speechless! (y) im proud to b muslim! Love u allah

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