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She Is A Proud Muslim!
She Loves Her Parents!
She's Married to a Hindu?
Is this a Problem?

Bismillah Rahman Raheem

Question:
I'm a proud Muslim woman by birth. I love and care for my parents.
However, I did something a few years ago that hurt my dad and mom very much. I did something with a man who loves me and cares for me very much. I do not regret what I have with him and I want him always as my life partner. He is the right person for me and no one is going to tell me different.
Now he is a Hindu man and a good person too.
He lets me follow Islam and I have no problem wdone ith him being a Hindu. We both understand and more important is the equality in our relationship, our marriage will be based on cooperation and understanding, without others telling us how to live our lives. This is something lacking in the Muslim culture, I think.
We live in India which is a Hindu nation and Hindu culture. Therefore, I do not see a problem with what we are doing at all.
My question to you is, "How do I convince my parents, especially my father that this man is the right man for me and I want him always. He is the right man for my father's number one daughter!
My father somehow believes a Muslim girl is not allowed to marry a non-Muslim man, like my husband to be. What can I show him from the Quran or sunnah or some fatwah that it is OK for me to marry the one and only man I love?
What does Quran actually say, if anything about all of this?
I know it is OK because I see people doing this all the time and even some mulanas are doing something like this, on temporary marriage basis or something like that.
Just give me something to satisfy my father, please.

Answer: Allahu 'Alim -
Salam alaykum sister,

Islam teaches us to always obey our parents in everything thing except in committing shirk (partners with Allah). So this is the first problem. Your parents are always there for you and you always have a relationship with them.
But what about some man? And what about his parents too?
Think about this while you read the following, please.

Unfortunately, this is not about being proud of yourself or your culture or race or nationalism at all.

Even saying you are proud to be a Muslim woman does not mean you are necessarily following the Way of Islam, itself.

Everyone of us must choose to be a true Muslim, by following what Islam teaches.
The word "Muslim" comes from the root in Arabic, "Aslama" and that carries a number of meanings from English, because the English language does not have this word. So here are the principle meanings within the word "Muslim":

The one who does 'aslama' is a mu-slim', because this person gives over their choices in any matter to the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, Allah.
They are in total: Submission, Surrender, Obedience, Sincerity, Peace and Purity - with Allah in all matters and all final decisions rest with Allah.
Details on this topic are found on our website at: www.WhatsIslam.com

This topic should not be about you getting married to a good, kind and loving man - who is a HINDU.
It should be about you following Islam, according to Quran and Sunnah and accepting the man whom Allah chooses for you to enter Paradise with.

Allow me to share more than just my "feelings" about this topic and then at the end I would like to offer a very nice solution to the whole thing that would make everyone happy, inshallah.

Let me begin with a few very real facts from Islam, in the Quran, then make a few statements based on emotional and logical outcomes based on the available choices.

I do see your point about finding someone you feel comfortable with and want to make a life with. The problem is, it is not acceptable to Allah. He does not consider what you have as a true marriage, due to it not being within what He has prescribed in His Book.

You may see this man as something very good, especially to you. But have you thought about this, the man does not believe in Allah, as One and only One God. The man does not believe in Adam, Ibrahim, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad, peace be on them, as prophets. He does not love Allah. He cannot enter Jennah. You cannot be with him in the Next Life.

Marriage to such a person will only end in a huge problem. The man would eventually challenge something from Allah's religion, and the woman would have to make a decision to leave him or stay without real Islam anymore.

Another problem would be the children. She would be intimidated by the man's family to allow the children to become their religion, or at least to allow these children to "choose for themselves". And that would be rejected by Allah on the part of the parents. The mother and father of a child are responsible for raising their children in the best way, as believers.

So what kind of relationship is this going to be anyway? You say you love him, but then you don't show much interest in what will happen to him after death. Does that make sense?

The fact is, men and women who are believers in Allah, can only marry other believers in Allah. This is according to Allah's Speech (Quran) to all of us.
Take a look for yourself --

Surah Al Maidah, chapter 5, verse 5


Here is the transliteration:
Al-Yawma 'Uĥilla Lakumu Aţ-Ţayyibātu Wa Ţa`āmu Al-Ladhīna 'Ūtū Al-Kitāba Ĥillun Lakum Wa Ţa`āmukum Ĥillun Lahum Wa Al-Muĥşanātu Mina Al-Mu'umināti Wa Al-Muĥşanātu Mina Al-Ladhīna 'Ūtū Al-Kitāba Min Qablikum 'Idhā 'Ātaytumūhunna 'Ujūrahunna Muĥşinīna Ghayra Musāfiĥīna Wa Lā Muttakhidhī 'Akhdānin Wa Man Yakfur Bil-'Īmāni Faqad Ĥabiţa `Amaluhu Wa Huwa Fī Al-'Ākhirati Mina Al-Khāsirīna

Translation to English:
By sister Umm Mohamed in Sahih International: This day all good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And lawful (for marriage) to Muslim men are the chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking (secret) lovers.
And whoever denies the faith – their work has become worthless, and they, are in the Hereafter, among the losers.

Surah Baqarah, (the Cow) chapter 2, verse 221
And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those who invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.

Surah Al Mumtahinah (the Woman Examined), chapter 60, verse 10
Transliteration: Yā 'Ayyuhā Al-Ladhīna 'Āmanū 'Idhā Jā'akum Al-Mu'uminātu Muhājirātin Fāmtaĥinūhunna Allāhu 'A`lamu Bi'īmānihinna Fa'in `Alimtumūhunna Mu'uminātin Falā Tarji`ūhunna 'Ilaá Al-Kuffāri Lā Hunna Ĥillun Lahum Wa Lā Hum Yaĥillūna Lahunna Wa 'Ātūhum Mā 'Anfaqū Wa Lā Junāĥa `Alaykum 'An Tankiĥūhunna 'Idhā 'Ātaytumūhunna 'Ujūrahunna Wa Lā Tumsikū Bi`işami Al-Kawāfiri Wa As'alū Mā 'Anfaqtum Wa Līas'alū Mā 'Anfaqū Dhālikum Ĥukmu Allāhi Yaĥkumu Baynakum Wa Allāhu `Alīmun Ĥakīmun
O you who believe, when the believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them. Allah is most knowing as to their faith. And if you know them to be believers, then do not return them to the disbelievers; they are not lawful wives for them, nor are they lawful husbands for them. But give the disbelievers what they have spent. And there is no blame upon you if you marry them when you have given them their due compensation. And hold not to marriage bonds with disbelieving women, but ask for what you have spent and let them ask for what they have spent. That is the judgement of Allah; He judges between you. And Allah is Knowing and Wise.

The word in Arabic translated here as 'polytheist' is 'al mushrikaati' and this is the female form of the word. That is because it is not permissible for Muslim women to even consider marriage to a non-Muslim man. The word translated in surah al Mumtahinah as 'disbelievers' is 'al kuffari' in Arabic and this is the male.

Let us consider some of the reasons for this, inshallah.
Number one, and absolutely the most important, is because Allah Subhannah wa Ta'ala has said so. And it is not up to us to even worry about the "WHY" when we have a very clear commandment from Allah telling us to do something or not to do something. The best reference from the Quran is in chapter 4, surah An-Nisaa', verse 65.

Surah An Nisaa', chapter 4, verse 65

But no, by your Lord, they will not [truly] believe until they make you, [O Muhammad], judge concerning that over which they dispute among themselves and then find within themselves no discomfort from what you have judged and submit in [full, willing] submission.

There can be no doubt after this verse, everything is hinged off of our belief and our actions together - not separate. Allah is swearing on Himself in this verse! How strong is that? He is saying we are NOT believers, if we see in Quran or hadeeth a Commandment from Allah and then we don't accept it whole heartily, with no discomfort or reservation in our hearts or minds.

Recall, if you will, the story of Adam in the Paradise and what it was that Allah said to Adam, telling him not to even approach or come near to the forbidden tree. He was not just ordered to avoid eating the fruit from it. He was ordered "STAY AWAY".
OK, now consider this, what was wrong with the tree? What was wrong with the fruit from the tree? Was it poison? Was it spoiled? Did Allah want it for some other purpose?
The answer is, "Who cares?" Allah gave an order, what are you doing, thinking and contemplating the reasons for the order, while you are sitting there eating the fruit?

Idolators (non-Jewish, non-Christian and non-Muslim) are never accepted as believers and not lawful for the Muslim men to marry. The Jewish and Christian women (only) are permitted to marry the believing men, so as to allow them to have the opportunity to draw closer to the truth and learn more about Islam. Their children would be raised automatically as believing Muslims.

How about this idea, you start taking a more serious look at your own religion and begin to really practice it as much as you can. Then if you see it for what it really is, you can share your findings with this man. Then if he likes what you are talking about and decides he does find this attractive, you help him come to the true Islam. Then both of you will be much better off in this life and in the Next Life.

Here is a nice video part one and two for you both to enjoy and see what it can do to help out:
www.WhatsIslam.com

Meantime, you are in big trouble with your family and with Allah Subhannah Wa Ta'ala. This needs to be corrected (ended) or you could destroy yourself and not help him either.
Oh, and by the way, according to Allah - this man is NOT your husband - Not in the sight of Almighty Allah. It is only adultery you are doing and calling it marriage to a Hindu.

Sister, we are praying for you and for this man to be rightly guided by Allah to the deen al-Haqq - Islam. Do your best and ask Allah to help you all.

Jazakallah khair was salam alaykum,
Yusuf Estes

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Last Updated (Friday, 30 May 2014 10:57)

 

Comments  

 
#54 Philosopher 2014-10-16 14:18
What a wonderful advice. God only loves who loves those who obey him. Do not ever dis-obey him
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#53 Liza 2014-10-05 06:25
Islam is the best!
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#52 Alisha zabeen 2014-09-20 08:42
Mike u r good. . .we can eat meats chicken bcz God made animals for food and to take work and for our testy food. . If everyone not eat meat then then the animals no's is more than man no's. .and our environment will be destory you can think how our envrnmnt wil be dstroy. . Am i right
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#51 banu 2014-09-05 05:10
Pls make duva fr me... may Allah bless all of us to get a clear idea fr our prblms
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#50 Israa khan 2014-07-24 16:37
I am a Muslim n my close Cousin sister is in a serious relationship with a Hindu boy and on I know about this relation..previ ously many issues also happened because of the relation but know everyone thinks tat she has broke up and she has obeyed them but tats not true...I am really scared about this..not by the people over here but by the hereafter..plzz z suggest me wat to do as she is not listening to me and am I commiting a sin by supporting this relation??2 days back I lost my cousin brother he was a infant my fathers brothers son..his wife never used to offer namaz n she was not at all towards islam..this was my second brother I lost...so all these this happen...Allah talah punishes his servants in dunya in some or the other manner brothers and sisters plz help me out and save me from commiting any typ of severe gunaah...asalam u alaikum...hope you all will reply to this question..Allah hafiz
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#49 Thiru 2014-06-13 12:16
I trust i allah and quran .iam asking dua to allah daily 5 times that i want to change my religion from hindu to muslim so pls guide me friends
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#48 Sher Muhammad 2014-06-07 08:26
LANAT HO MUSLIM WOMAN PER JIS NE NON-MUSLIM SE SHADI....
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#47 aslama 2014-05-30 13:03
ALLAH is perefred name by GOD he said call me ALLAH but there is no diffrnce if u belive in one GOD and on day of judgment..
nobody knows who will go to heaven or hell who is good or bad its b/w ALLAH (GOD) and his peoples nobody has right to say anything about any one,,,, sister try to explain him the true religion THE RELIGION of peace and religion of ONE GOD...here is one suggestion for u give him the true copy of KORAN translated in english or in any language in which he can understand... and just beg from him to read it as a normal book and beg also that while reading dont think u belong to any restriction (like religion or culture) just think that ur human and ur just reading it for information ... and see may ALLAH has written something for him coz its all about him and the ONE WHO CREATED UNIVERSE ....
JAZAKALLAH
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#46 kaleem 2014-05-04 16:21
islam is a complete solution to human life, but as you have done great mistake you will be forgiven by allahs wills,as you dont want to leave man then i have a solution you convince him to convert to the truth religion i.e sanathan dharm or islam islam is also known as sanathan dharm and remarriage him and go to your parents and tell the story they will forgive you...
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#45 Sayyed Shabbir 2014-04-27 05:12
How can you believe in non-muslim man who's not believing in Allah.You should protect your religion n obey your parents. Otherwise you'll ruined your n your children life here n after.May Allah bless you.
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