Sandy put down her pen, feeling very bitter. Her heart was broken and she felt the whole world crumbled before her very eyes. Tears started to trickle down her fair white cheek as her hands slowly reached for her Kleenex.

Ya Allaah, this is too painful. Ya Allaah, help me, please, please, Ya Rabb, Ya Rabb. Mishan Allaah…

Her heart begged for help and strength from her Lord, The Most Loving, Al Wadood, as she started to sob uncontrollably. She cupped her face and let her painful emotion take control of herself.

High fever and flu with nose runny

Severe headache and painful tummy

Dry mouth with blisters throbbing

This was when you decided on sending

An accusing message to kill my physical being

To the world I kept on smiling

Clearly they didn’t know what I was facing

Within myself my mind is numbing

Despite the hot temperature I was feeling

My mind is determined to slowly go into freezing

Stab Bash Smash Whack Clobber Pierce and Slice

This is my heart and next to it- Saw another knife?

Here, take them both honey and do as you wish

Let it have one last bloody hemorrhage fiesta

My emotionless soul would pick it up, later

Then make an honorary deposit into the dumpster

Sandy put down her pen, feeling very bitter. Her heart was broken and she felt the whole world crumbled before her very eyes. Tears started to trickle down her fair white cheek as her hands slowly reached for her Kleenex.

Ya Allaah, this is too painful. Ya Allaah, help me, please, please, Ya Rabb, Ya Rabb. Mishan Allaah…

Her heart begged for help and strength from her Lord, The Most Loving, Al Wadood, as she started to sob uncontrollably. She cupped her face and let her painful emotion take control of herself.

Moments later, Sandy laid back against her chair and stared into the empty sky through her window.

Despite the sorrow she was going through, deep inside her, she knew one thing. She knew that her Lord says,

 We do not impose on any self any more than it can stand. With Us there is a Book which speaks the truth. They will not be wronged. (Surat al-Mu'minun: 62)

I can go through this. I know I can. Allaah loves me. There are wisdoms behind this. I just don’t know them yet. I just don’t know them yet…

Sandy talked to herself. She knew the words of Allaah. She just had to remind herself about them. Allaah has said that He shall not test His servant more than she could bear. So, this must be bearable for her. It must be.

She remembered one of her favourite poet, Kahlil Gibran said,

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.

Kahlil was right. Doubt is too painful to bear. She could not live another moment in doubt. She must be positive. She must be strong. And remain strong.

Sandy knew this was her only remedy- Her unwinding faith to her Lord, trusting Him, His Plan, His Judgement wholeheartedly.

One verse popped into her heart. Her Lord has said this,

Say: "Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Maula (Lord, Helper and Protector)." And in Allah let the believers put their trust.  
( , At-Taubah, Chapter #9, Verse #51)

Of course! This is the Plan which Allaah has put in for her. And Allaah is the Perfect Planner. She knew that she must trust Him with His Plan because He is her Protector and Helper. She also knew that His plans will never harm her or any other creatures.

And that’s when she remembered singing with her mum this one song, Que Sera, Sera,.. what will be, WILL be.

And in Allaah, she put her trust because she knew, what will be, will be…

Copyright © Sis Zabrina 2007

Sis Zabrina is a ‘Life Storyteller’ who writes about  daily happenings in life, viewed and analyzed from a unique perspective and  blended with the Quranic verses and Hadeeth of the Prophet SAW for a solution to illustrate the easiness, simplicity, relevancy and completeness of Islam to today's world.  She maintains an active blog at http://wisdomthruwords.blogspot.com