What does "GAZA" mean to our children?
Media and the Internet - 1,000s of
emails going out every few seco
nds. GAZA! GAZA! GAZA!
What will this
word mean to our children as they grow up? What will they remember?
"Air strikes - Rocket Blasts - Dying Women & Children - Dead Bodies"
The images of innocent women and children being terrorised, running for
their very lives, air strikes, rocket blasts, wounded, dying and
mutilated corpses scattered everywhere.
"Gaza - It Hurts All Kids"
Our Own Chidren Cry Out - GAZA is causing fear everywhere. Television, radio and every newspaper on the planet are telling horror stories and showing pictures of devastaion beyond anything ever experienced before.
"Our children also pay the price"
Yes, children everywhere on earth are being exposed to this daily onslaught of military aggression, and pictures of such horrible nature, even adults turn away from the sickening slaughter. Doctors tell us, children often suffer and hurt without actually telling us in words.
"Gaza isn't a Horror Movie or a Video Game - This is Real News"
The daily news - and our children are being exposed to it 24 hours a day. These images don't go away. They hurt - all of us, especially our children, need help in dealing with this crisis.
Read "Our Children & What is Happening in Gaza" by Dr. Muhammad Abduazia Al-Shuraim [www.islamnewsroom.com/content/view/616/1/]
Our Children & What is Happening in
Gaza
It is hard for us as adults to cope with
what is unfolding in Gaza these days.
How do we expect small children to cope? This is especially when they see and
hear on television the tragic and bloody events that are taking place. Adults
might be able to understand what they see on television and go on productively
with their lives. Indeed, many have learned how to cope from the sheer number of
crises and wars that the news exposes us to year after year. However, children
need special care to deal with these tragic events without suffering adverse
psychological effects. 
Even if we do our best to shelter our children
from the the most graphic depictions of what is going on in Gaza, the media will
invariably expose them to images and events that they will find deeply
disturbing. The following advice can be taken by parents to help their children
cope:
1. We need to be receptive to our
children's feelings. When children
express fear or worry about what they see or hear, the role of the parents is to
accept these feelings from their children as being natural. They need to convey
to their children that everyone has these feelings – even adults. When a child
knows that his or her feelings are normal, and that he or she is not alone in
feeling fear, it allows the child to cope more positively with that fear,
especially when he or she sees that the big people who share such fears continue
to go about their daily activities in a normal manner.
2. We must not criticize the fear our children feel or deny
their feelings. Many parents say
things like: "There is no reason to be afraid" or: "Don't be frightened." They
believe that such statements placate their children's fears. This is not the
case. By denying the feelings that our children are experiencing, we actually
aggravate their fears, because they feel that they are doing something wrong for
feeling the way they do. They need to know that everyone feels fear, just like
they do.
3. We need to encourage our
children to communicate their feelings.
Some children need to put their feelings in worlds before they can deal
with those feelings. Moreover, some children confuse their genuine feelings with
imaginary ones. Just talking about what they feel gives many children comfort,
since they know that they have an outlet whenever they come under stress. As
parents, we need to encourage communication and also accept from them what they
feel, without criticism or condemnation, as we have already explained.
4. We need to answer their questions
honestly. In the face of such a crisis, children will definitely
have many questions going through their minds. Moreover, the fertile
imaginations that children possess can make them co
nstruct things in their minds
that have no grounds in reality. This is why it is critical – no matter how
complicated or silly our children's questions might seem to us as parents – that
we do our best to answer those questions accurately and honestly. If we do not
know the answer, we should be able to say: "I do not know."
Honest
answers help children to distinguish what is reality from the constructs of
their imaginations. If children cannot find answers from the people they look up
to, their imaginations will run wild.
5. We
can help our children to describe what they are feeling. After a
child speaks about what he or she feels, it is possible for the parents to
identify or describe that feeling for the child. For instance, a parent can say:
"You are scared for your brothers and sisters in Palestine." or: "You are
worried that the same thing could happen to us here."
Helping to put
their feelings into words does not make things worse, like some people think.
Rather, it helps children psychologically, allowing them to better understand
what is going through their minds, and by letting them know that the people
around them understand and respect their feelings.
6. We must teach our children how to best cope with their
fears. By showing sympathy for our children's fears, we help our
children to overcome them. When a child says that he or she is frightened that
bombs will fall on the house, it is an opportunity to explain to the child that
such things are indeed frightening but they are taking place far away. We should
feel worried, but not for ourselves, but rather for our brothers and sisters
over there who are living through the 
tragedy. We can take this occasion to
teach our children to supplicate to Allah to protect and help them.
7. We should channel their feelings in
positive ways. Children are more disposed than older people to
feel sympathy for others and make sacrifices for them. We can ask our children
to make suggestions how we can help our brothers and sisters in Gaza. Maybe the
children can donate some of his or her money – no matter that it is very little
– to grant relief to the victims of the tragedy. This increases their sense of
solidarity while reducing their feelings of fear. It increases the desire of the
children to be more charitable in their future lives, and to be more ready
supplicate to Allah to help those who are suffering.
8. We should use the occasion to teach our children.
Many children do not appreciate what they have. They are born into a
life where they are blessed with a comfortable home, enough food to eat, and
toys to play with. They take all of this for granted. When they are disturbed by
a tragedy like what is taking place in Gaza, we can use the opportunity to teach
our children the importance of thanking Allah for the blessings that He has
bestowed upon us. We can make our children aware of the fact that others do not
have these things that we take for granted. There are children who do not have
the food that maybe our children disdain to eat. Parents can remind their
children that what they complain about cannot be compared to the suffering the
children of Gaza are going through who have lost almost everything except their
hope in Allah.
9. We must explain what our
faith in Allah teaches us about life's difficulties. We need
to explain to our children that the trials Allah deems to have the people of
Gaza endure is also part of His love for His creatures. Allah graces those in
adversity with the chance to show patience and to strengthen their faith in the
certainty of His promise. In this way, we teach our children how they, as
believers, can cope better with adversity in their own lives.
10. We need to show our children that we
love them. Sometimes children need to be reassured that their
parents will do everything to protect them from what frightens them. They need
to know that their parents are there for them. We need to hug our children and
kiss them when we see that they are frightened or under stress. At the same
time, depending on the child's age, we need to give the child confidence that
Allah, in His wisdom, has decreed everything for humanity and that we must rely
on Allah and go on with our lives, though there are dangers out there.
I
hope that these words of advice will help our children cope in a positive manner
with the crisis that is taking place, though our children's difficulties are
nothing in comparison to what the children of Gaza are suffering from.
Finally, I pray to Allah to help our brothers and
sisters in Gaza. Truly, He is the one who is All-Powerful, and He is the one we
turn to for help.
