I Want Islam - But What About My Family?

How to accept Islam and still be in my family?

Maintaining strong family ties is a core principle in Islam, even if your relatives are not Muslim. It is possible to accept Islam and stay connected with your family through patience, respectful communication, and leading by good example. 

How to be a Muslim

Say the declaration of faith "Shahada", out loud. This can be done ALONE or with OTHERS present.

Shahada: "Ash-hadu an la ilaha illa Allah, wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadan rasulu Allah!"

Means: "I bear witness there is no god but Allah, and I bear witness Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah."

How to Reassure your family

Family concerns about conversion often stem from fear of separation, not hatred of Islam. To build acceptance, reassure family members that you are still the same person and that conversion will not sever ties.

SHOW
(Don't Just TELL)

• Show Islamic values: The beauty of Islam through character. Family members must see Islam makes you more patient, more kind, and more loving.
• Be a good family member: Respect, kindness, and love, especially towards parents, even if they are harsh on you. Be patient. Islam emphasizes to honor parents, regardless of their beliefs.
• Respect your family’s right to their own faith. Don't force your beliefs on them, this creates resentment. 

Wisdom in Conversations

• Timing is key: Choose an appropriate time to talk to your family, when emotions are calm. Gradually introduce your interest in Islam in casual conversation.
• Explain your journey: Share the personal reasons for converting, focusing on its positive impact. Explain that this was a thoughtful, sincere decision.
• Be calm, not defensive: If they react negatively, remain calm. They may ask challenging or hurtful questions, but engaging in arguments can create division. Reiterate that you understand their concern and that you love them.
• Correct misconceptions gently: If your family misunderstands Islam, address their concerns with facts and patience instead of arguments. 

Maintain ties with creativity & flexibility

• Adapt traditions: Create new traditions or find creative ways to join family gatherings, even if they involve activities that conflict with your faith, such as alcohol or pork. For example, you can still attend a holiday dinner but bring a halal dish to share.
• Balance obligations: Strive for moderation. For instance, attending a family dinner does not mean compromising faith, and stepping away from certain activities doesn't mean cutting off family ties. The goal is to build bridges, not burn them.
• Keep communication open: Always keep the door open for communication. Showing patience and steadfastness will demonstrate that commitment is genuine and lasting. 

When to seek outside support

If your family's reaction is particularly difficult, seeking support from a wider community can help.

• Connect with other converts: Finding support from other converts or the local Muslim community can help you navigate challenges.
• Talk to a trusted scholar: Speaking with an imam or a trusted Muslim scholar can provide guidance on your specific family dynamics.
• Lean on your faith: Ask Allah for guidance for all your family's understanding and peace.