“Tall decaf mocha, no whip,”

I order as I scan the room for a..

..corner table.

The clerk practically knows my order by heart since I frequent the joint so much with my husband and kids.

As she hands me my change, she opens her mouth to say something more.  I anticipate a “Can I ask you why you are wearing that?” or a “Are you hot in that?”  Being one of only 2 Muslim families in a very rural town in New Mexico, and wearing niqab, I tend to get some real extreme reactions.

“I already told your husband this but I just want to say you have the most well behaved kids I have seen in years, and I have seen a lot of kids!” she exclaims, much to my surprise.

After thanking her, I take my seat and begin to surf the net while my husband keeps the kids busy in the adjoining grocery store aisles.

“Hi!” a middle aged man says to me as he sits at the table next to me.  I recognize him from another local store we frequent (there are only a handful of them in the whole town).  “My name is Bob.  Did Peggy talk to you?” he continues.

“Who?”

“You know Peggy, from the library?”  Peggy is a local library volunteer that loves to chat whenever I take my kids to story time.

“No, what’s up?”

“Well I was hoping, when you had time, and with your husband of course, if I could talk to you guys and ask you some questions?  I am a Christian but there is so much out there about you guys and I wanted to talk with you about it all.”

“Sure, I need to get some stuff done on the net but when my husband returns we would be happy to answer your questions.”  I explain as I slurp away at my mocha.

Soon after, my husband arrives with a half eaten banana and 2 sleepy children.  After laying them on the adjoining couches, I introduce him to Bob and we begin to chat.

“Where are you from?” Bob asks my husband, Zayd.  Zayd begins to explain how he was raised Methodist in the Bible belt state of Illinois, how he began his faith journey in grad school which ended in him becoming Muslim, and the issues he had with the trinity and original sin.  I then encouraged Bob to ask his questions and voice his obvious concerns.

“Okay, so how do you feel about people who become Muslim and then leave Islam?  Do you believe they should be killed?”  Wow, going right for the jugular!

As the night proceeds we address honor killings, wife beatings, killing of infidels, you know, all the real lightweight topics.  We explain that there is a big difference between Islam and culture, that there is no compulsion in religion, and then give him our prepared dawah talk about Tawheed and the real Islam.

As we are chatting, another man walks over to Bob and greets him.  As he turns to leave, he gives my husband a pat on the back and says “Hi, do you guys live here?”  “Yes,” Zayd responds.  “Well, we just want you to know how happy we are to have you guys here.”

“Thank you!  We are happy to live here as well and your welcome means a lot!”  Zayd replies enthusiastically as he shakes the man’s hand.

After he leaves, Bob remarks how surprised and happy he is that the man has welcomed us.

“You know I hear a lot of really negative things about you guys but I am not one to believe everything I hear.  On the other hand, you guys are telling me such different things. To be honest I really don’t know who to believe, no offense.”

He continues, “I have never met a Muslim before but I see your family around town a lot and, uh, well, I write a blog and actually wrote about your kids!  I wrote that there is a Muslim family in town that seems to have the loveliest children and it made me curious to get to know you guys and find out what you are really like.”

“Well that’s great!” I reply.  “We are so happy you approached us and wish more people could get to know their Muslim neighbors.  It’s the only way to dispel the fear and hatred that has developed in this country.  Sometimes I see a sign for a Tea Party meeting and think, ‘We should just go and get to know people there.’”

“Funny you say that!  I am actually a member of the local Tea Party!  They have a listserve and someone forwarded an e-mail claiming that Muslims still to this day have not apologized or condemned 9/11.  So I immediately went to Google and typed in “Muslims apologize 9/11” and a whole list, several pages long, came up with links proving the opposite.  I just hate when people spread misinformation and lies like that!  I believe in the Tea Party but I think these lies just detract from our mission.”

Zayd then hands him a card and extends an open invitation to visit the masjid.

“Thank you and I may take you up on this offer but it will take me a long time to research things first and verify the things you have explained to me.  Then we will see about attending your worship house or having you speak to others.”

On the ride home I begin to realize how many people in our small rural town see us on a regular basis and talk to others about us without our knowledge.  It makes me even more self-conscious about the fact that our every actions and words are being observed and analyzed in an attempt to understand the “Moslems,” our real values, and whether or not we are really a secret sleeper cell implanted in their town or just a regular family trying to protect our children and make ends meet.

We can blame the 9/11 terrorists, the Quran-burning pastors, the professional Islamophobes, or Fox News for the horrible perception of Islam and the suspicion of Muslims.  Though, at the end of the day, only we can challenge that view through our consistent, daily interactions, one neighbor at a time. It is from a kind gesture at the cash register, or a well behaved child that says please and thank-you to a waitress, or an offer of assistance or concern to a person in need that makes the lasting impression and changes negative attitudes. We should not only behave this way to change perceptions, but because our deen commands this type of behavior towards Muslims and non-Muslims alike.

Studies show that over 50% of Americans say they have never met a Muslim and nearly as many fear Muslims.  Now imagine if an upstanding, well mannered Muslim family moves into every small town in America and rather than isolate themselves, they become a productive, visual member of that town. How would these statistics change?  How many people would witness for us on the Day of Judgment that we spread the message of Islam without even speaking a word?

A final story.  Soon after, I am approached by a woman who says “Hi” to me every time she sees me.  I have never spoken to her in detail and never specifically about Islam.  She asks me if I can give her a copy of the Quran.  Almost in tears, she tells me about the horrible things she hears others say about me when I enter the store.  “My kids hear this stuff too and ask me questions.  I explain to them that you guys are people of faith.  I also tell them that I know for certain that if you were my neighbors and my house was burning, it would be you Muslims that would risk your lives to save my family while the other neighbors would just stand there watching.”

WOW! I am not sure what gave her this impression but all I can do is pray that Allah enables my family and me to live up to her high expectations, Insha Allah.